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Adam Roberts wrote this.
Why Jeeps Are Better Than Women
1. Jeeps don't get pregnant.
2. You can drive your Jeep any time of the month.
3. Jeeps don't have parents.
4. Jeeps don't whine unless something is really wrong.
5. You can share your Jeep with your friends.
6. Jeeps don't care how many other Jeeps you've ridden.
7. When driving, you and your Jeep can arrive at the same time.
8. Jeeps don't care how many other Jeeps you have.
9. Jeeps don't care if you look at other Jeeps.
10. Jeeps don't care if you buy Jeep magazines.
11. You'll never hear, "Surprise, you are going to own a new Jeep" unless you go out to buy one yourself.
12. If your Jeep goes flat you can fix it.
13. If your Jeep is too loose you can tighten it.
14. If your Jeep is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics with it.
15. You can have a black Jeep and bring it home to your parents.
16. You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your Jeep.
17. If you say bad things to your Jeep, you don't have to apologize before you drive it again.
18. You can drive your Jeep as long as you want and it won't get sore.
19. You can stop driving your Jeep as soon as you want and it won't get frustrated.
20. Your parents won't remain in touch with your old Jeep after you dump it.
21. Jeeps don't get headaches.
22. Jeeps don't insult you if you're a bad driver.
23. Your Jeep never wants a night out with the other Jeeps.
24. Jeeps don't care if you're late.
25. You don't have to take a shower before you ride your Jeep.
26. If your Jeep doesn't look good you can paint it or get better parts.
27. You can ride your Jeep the first time you meet it, without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.
28. The only protection you have to wear when riding your Jeep is a decent seatbelt.
29. When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great drive you had the last time you were in your Jeep.
30. Your Jeep in never embarrassed to go topless in public.
31. You only have to feed your Jeep when you use it.
32. A rocky relationship with your Jeep is actually fun.
33. Jeeps don't care how much money you spend on them.
34. You don't have to remember your Jeep's birthday, when you first met, or anniversaries.
35. You can feel free to remark about how much better your jeep is riding lately.
36. Jeeps don't leak for 10 minutes after you drive them hard.